Philly Adventures: First Christmas

'Tis the season. Christmas has come and gone but it has rekindled some old memories of living in Philly and of course, my first Christmas experience.

It was December 2000, Christmas was just around the corner. My mother told me that people get presents on Christmas from a fat guy named Santa and that was all I needed to know. Didn't care about all this Jesus Christ stuff, does he give presents on Christmas?? NO (the answer is YES, but try to explain that to a 9 year-old immigrant kid). I knew that Santa wasn't real, but I played along with my parents' stories. That first year in Philly was filled with surprises, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas...no wonder the US is fat. But no matter, I enjoyed myself and got fat, too, haha.

Just like any other kid, I had my eyes set on a toy, for me it was a box of Dominos (not the pizza) at the Big K-Mart in the Gallery Mall. If you are from Philly, you know that the Gallery is a great place to shop...haha. Actually, it's a very ghetto place, but we didn't understand that and everything in K-Mart was cheap so the reputation of the mall didn't matter much. I told my mother that I wanted a set of Dominos. I don't know why I wanted it so much; I should have asked for Power Rangers' action figures or something. So my mother bought a set and told me that we were visiting a family friend in NYC and needed to give their daughter this present. Shit...ok fine. I didn't really care too much because I didn't expect to get it. Money was tight and I understood that.

So we went to NYC and gave the Dominos away to the girl (I don't think she liked it that much). We came home Christmas Eve and spent the day at home. The next morning my mother woke me up and told me to go see if Santa dropped off any presents. So I did, albeit reluctantly and unconvincingly. I walked into the living room cautiously hopeful, not wanting to be too disappointed. And then I saw it, there on the window sill was a box wrapped up in festive Christmas wrapping paper (we didn't have a tree). I took it and ran back into the bedroom (we shared a small bedroom in the apartment) and showed my parents. So I proceeded to rip the wrapping paper and out came the set of Dominos!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot explain my excitement. I didn't even know how to play Dominos, haha, but it didn't matter. I was ecstatic.

I told my mother, "Maybe Santa is real." And for that moment I really believed it.

Philly Adventures: First Halloween

It's been awhile but I had some time today to write and I was reminiscing about the old days. Let me tell you about my first Halloween experience. In case you forgot, this series is to recount the experiences I had my first few years in the States.

It was going to be Halloween soon, and by this time I had been in school almost 1 year and my English was getting pretty good. I understood what Halloween was by hearing about it in school. So basically, you dress up like something scary and get candy...can you imagine the excitement that went through my mind? I was 9 years old, this is the best news anyone could have told me. At first I thought this was a cruel joke that my teacher was playing on the class, but after asking my classmates I realized this was a real American holiday.

A few days before Halloween I was walking with my parents, going home from the grocery store (very close  to the Magic Gardens). As I was walking I looked down and saw a $10 bill. Wow!!!! I picked it up and showed my parents. We didn't have much money back then and I didn't get any allowances (another weird concept of American culture that was foreign to me) so this $10 was a big deal. What should I buy with it? Well, it was Halloween and I didn't have a costume. So we went to K-Mart and I bought a skull mask, a sword and bucket (I still have the mask and used it for the next 5 Halloweens) all for about $8.

Now that I had my costume I was ready to go! But where? We didn't know where the candy would be, but we knew where all the people were going to be: South Street. If you don't know, South Street is the party street of Philadelphia, with night clubs, retailers, bars, restaurants, etc. Hardly the appropriate place for kids to get candy...but we didn't know these things. The next few occurrences I did not understand until I got older, but you will all understand. Keep in mind it was my first Halloween and I did not know the etiquette of trick or treating.

As we entered South Street there were a few apartment complexes so it was smooth sailing. After walking down 2 more blocks we found the party. First occurrence: I saw a guy sitting outside an apartment door with a brown plastic bag in his hand and a smoke in the other. I figured this guy was there to give candy so I went up to him and said, "Trick or Treat." He looked at me for a few seconds and laughed so I tried again, "Trick or treat." He ignored me. I tried again and this time he reached into his wallet, pulled out a $1 bill and put it in my bucket. I thought they only gave candy on Halloween. I was confused but he said, "Happy Halloween, kid. Now get outta here." So I moved on.

Second occurrence: I walked into a Chinese restaurant and went to the counter. "Trick or Treat." This did not work. The three workers behind the counter stared at me with blank faces. One was on the phone but the other 2 just stared. "Trick or treat." Not knowing what to do, I just stood and waited. "Trick or treat." Nothing happened...then suddenly one guy reached down and slid 3 fortune cookies to me. My first through was, "Finally! I just wanted candy!" My second thought was, "What the hell did he just give me?" This was my first exposure to fortune cookies.

Third occurrence: As I walked down the street I saw a woman dressed in a very small dress showing off a lot of skin standing outside a door that had purple neon lights all over it. I figured she was in her Halloween costume and giving out candy so, "Trick or Treat!" She looked at me in confusion and said that she was sorry and didn't have any candy. I didn't buy it, "Why?" She said, "Why am I here? I don't even have candy. I should just go inside." But she didn't, she just laughed and my parents pushed me forward. This was probably the most confusing occurrence.

Fourth occurrence: I walked into a Radio Shack. The store looked colorful and I figured they must have candy. It was packed with people but one guy was free so I said, "Trick or Treat." He said, "We are not giving candy...instead we are giving these Jetson Clocks." I still have that clock.

Fifth occurrence: A drunk black guy came up to us and started asking if we were Japanese. My parents said we weren't and tried to walk away but the guy kept up. I was pretty scared and confused. The guy kept talking to us and I didn't know what to do. Then I thought, this guy just wants to give me candy so I said, "Trick or Treat." Of course he didn't have any candy and some people around us were telling him to leave us alone so he walked away.

Last occurrence: At the end of the night as we were walking home we came across one of the last houses with Halloween lights. I rang the door bell and said, "Trick or Treat." A white man opened the door and behind him an Asian lady held a basket of candy. I took one and backed off. They said, "Take more." So I dug my small 9 year old hands into the basket and grabbed as much candy as I could and transferred them into my bucket. I must of grabbed half the basket. They laughed and wished me happy Halloween.

Thus ended my first Halloween. I got $1 bill, three fortune cookies, a Jetson clock, encounters with a stripper and 2 drunk men, and a crap load of candy. I did pretty well.

Philly Adventures: Ms. Castleberry

In fourth grade I came across my favorite teacher: Ms. Castleberry. The way I would describe her is a passionate strong black woman. I loved how she taught us and the way she encouraged us to do more. We were in fourth grade but she put forth all her effort to teach us all that we needed to know. She is also the no BS kind of teacher (my friend, Julia, wanted me to tone down the language so no cussing in this post). We kept a journal in that class to write down what we learned that day or how our weekend was. Sometimes she made us write in cursive just to challenge our writing. I was in ESL at the time so writing about anything was hard. I once asked a classmate how to spell 'news.' But the journaling forced me to use correct grammar and ask for new words. Her passion for teaching emanated through her enthusiasm every morning and her tireless smile at the end of the day.

She would often hold fun competitions in class and fundraisers for certain charities. The one event imprinted in my mind is the valentines day challenge. There was a jar filled with heart candies and we had to guess how many. It was 25 cents per guess, so I thought why not. I donated my quarter and guessed something like 1100. A week later the results were in. In total there were about 50 guesses. Ms. Feingold, my ESOL teacher, had the results in her hand. She played it off like she couldn't read the results, it was too difficult for her, and we begged her to reveal the winner. Please!!!!! We pleaded with her. And then she said the winner is...Ran!!!! She pointed at me and the whole class looked at me. Some cheered some were straight up shocked and some gave a face. I turned red like I always do. Crap, everyone was looking at me. That feeling from the first day of class came back to me and all I wanted to do was sprint away. I regretted ever taking a guess and paying my quarter. What prize would equate to such humiliation? A CD player. Now a days that sounds like a stupid gift, but at the time the only thing I've ever touched was a cassette tape and I thought that was sophisticated technology. I explained that I didn't have any CDs to Ms. Castleberry, but she encouraged me to keep the prize and share it with my family. So I went to K Mart and bought Nsync's No Strings Attached album which was extremely popular back then. Don't judge.

Another memory I have of her was when I had a severe nose bleed right before school ended for the day. I had blood dripping down my shirt. Ms. Castleberry held paper to my nose and escorted me through the hallways. She was freaked out by the blood but kept her hand on the paper. I had lost so much blood I felt dizzy so when I got to the nurse they gave me stuff to eat. Ms. Castleberry was pretty disgusted but never second guessed helping me out. To me she not only was an excellent teacher but she also cared dearly for all her students. Maybe I'm biased cause I won the cd player, but whatever. I miss her and my class. She is actually still at McCall Elementary along with my ESOL teacher Ms. Feingold. I'm glad they have job security; I heard a year ago that teachers were being laid off. Ms. Castleberry is actually now Ms. Pigford. I should pay her a visit sometime. Hopefully, she'll be proud.

Philly Adventures: General George A. McCall Elementary School

The greatest thing about moving across the world is a longer winter break and skipping a grade. I finished half of second grade in China and entered third grade in Philly after a month off from school. In January my parents sent me to McCall Elementary, about a fifteen minute walk from where we lived (707 9th and Bainbridge Street-Google map it). Most nerve racking moment I've ever experienced to date. That's why I remember it so well.

I walked into my third grade class and the teacher introduced me. She was a tall black woman with black curly hair and a serious demeanor. I dragged my broken black book bag across the classroom to my seat. The longest walk of my life. Everyone's eyes were on me. I can imagine what they were thinking. 'Who is this kid?' 'Another Asian kid?' 'Does he speak English?' I put my butt on my chair as soon as I could and tried to drift off into anonymity. They were going over multiplication tables that day. I've had this stuff memorized since the first grade. The question on the board was 3 x 5. Nobody knew what it was so I raised my hand and wrote in very small numbers 15. The teacher got up there and erased my answer!!!! WTFFFFFFFFF??? Do they do multiplication differently here? Was I wrong? What the hell kind of place is this? The teacher then wrote in very big numbers 15. Oh!! wow I panicked for nothing.

Later in the day I decided that I needed to try something. My mother had told me the day before that if there is one phrase I needed to know for school it was "May I go to the bathroom?" hahahaha, she got the grammar right, too. So I decided to try it out (I didn't even need to go). I raised my hand and asked. I can't even remember if I said it right, but it created a reaction. She called another Chinese kid up and gave me a brick with a number on it (our room number I later found out), and sent us on our way. I followed this kid down to the basement and the whole way I was thinking what the hell is this brick for? And did I ask the right thing? I asked him in Chinese if he was leading me to the bathroom, the kid did not speak Chinese
-____-. I was about as confused as an 8 year-old could be. Finally, in the basement we entered the boys' bathroom and that is where I saw urinals for the first time and toilets separated by walls and toilet paper available (mind blown). The kid was kind enough to show me how to use the urinals, not on purpose of course, he just needed to go and I followed his lead. Great, now I knew proper bathroom etiquette in American public schools; it wasn't much dissimilar from China, except you needed a pass, hence the brick. When I got back class ended and it was lunch time!

Lunch SUCKED!  Now I know that it was penne pasta with meat sauce, juice and a bag of chocolate milk. The pasta came in a microwaveable container, so it wasn’t as fancy as it sounds. At first I thought they were steamed scallions. Who would eat such a thing? When I used my fork (which was also very foreign) the pasta just broke down. It had been steamed so much it dissolved if you touched it. I didn’t eat that day. Another weird thing in America culture is recess (they even have a cartoon dedicated to it). WTF?? We play in school? Wow, did I just die and go to heaven? We played tag and wall ball mostly. There weren’t anything else to do but we were pretty happy with it.

It turns out that the black teacher I had was a sub and the next day a white lady came in. Her name was Ms. S and we had to call her that. I was wondering why her name was Ms. S. I knew it was a letter in the alphabet so for a while I thought all teachers were called by a letter. Ms. S had these heavy earrings that dragged her ears down and you can see the holes being stretched out in her ears. Gross! She was very nice though. After a month Ms. Lane came in, our regular teacher. Apparently, Ms. S was also a sub. Ms. Lane had some kind of accident and the class welcomed her back enthusiastically. A week later she brought her dog into class. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF?????????????????? This is when I decided that America is the oddest country in the world. The dog shit everywhere and took pisses on desk polls. Funniest thing I've ever seen. I learned nothing in third grade but assimilated to the culture and learned English. My ESOL teacher was awesome! She gave us prizes for reading small books and learning words. Those two years really helped. In fourth grade I had Ms. Castleberry. The best and most influential teacher I've ever had. You will learn about her soon.

Philly Adventures: Firsts

My life in China ended when I was 8 years old and so did the Three Amigos. We certainly ended on a very high note. It was a very appropriate way for me to make my exit. However, a new adventure was ahead of me. The Philly Adventures series is going to chronicle my first few years in Philadelphia. Let's start with my first night.

It was December 22, 1999 and I arrived around midnight with my father. That was almost 13 years ago and I still remember it like it happened yesterday. My mother had arrived two months before to start her new job and find a place to live so she was waiting for us outside the airport. When we got off the plane and into the busy terminal of Philadelphia International Airport I clutched my father's hand like my life depended on it. America was a strange place for both of us and we had no idea where we were going. I was more confused than afraid; it was a new sense of curiosity I had never felt before. Everything was new: the words, stores, and the people. Especially the people. I saw black, Hispanic, Indian, white and Arabic people all in a matter of minutes. They were everywhere. My friends back home would never believe this. I had lived 8 years and only ever saw 1 white person.ONE. And now I thought I've seen the whole world. I felt like Frodo and Sam when they saw Oliphaunts for the first time.

We found my mother outside of the airport and I jumped into her arms, sobbed a little and then waited for our family friend to pick us up. When we were driving through Philly I saw one way streets for the first time. In Philadelphia, almost all the streets go one way with one lane, which makes it very difficult for drivers if they miss a turn. In China all the streets were wide with at least two lanes each way. I was blown away at how simple and beautiful this place was. I saw trees in the city for the first time and apartment buildings owned by only one family. I saw parks that had soccer fields WITH GRASS!! Basketball courts that actually had baskets, and baseball fields. I've never played baseball before. In China none of these things existed, especially soccer fields with GRASS.

When we pulled up to our apartment building I was blown away. My mother led us through the door and I screamed WOW! But then I saw a white lady making something in the kitchen and realized it was not our home. She looked back and smiled. My mother explained that the first and second floors were not ours, we were on the third floor. So up we went. When we entered I was still amazed, WOW. It was a one bedroom apartment with a kitchen, living room, and one bath. Nicer than our apartment back in China. The bathroom actually had a toilet, not one of those squat things, and it had an actual shower!!!! At the time I thought these things were unnecessary luxuries, haha. The beds were in the living room, my bed set had "A Bug's Life" theme, complete with a comforter and pillow (both of which I still use in my BU dorm, Dan Wood and Ethan know what I'm talking about).

My parents urged me to go to sleep, but I was suffering from Jet Lag and pure excitement. I stayed up all night at the window counting the cars that went by at 3AM and looking at the humongous playground across the street. I wondered what these drivers were doing this late/early and what life was going to be like from then on. At 8 years old I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I missed the Three Amigos, my cousins, family, the things I was familiar with, but that was 8000 miles away. But despite all this I felt a sense of freedom and adventure I've never felt before.

Three Amigos: Last Hurrah

So you've read about the three amigos and now it's time to end this series. All good things have to come to an end. For the three amigos the end came when I left for Philadelphia on December 22, 1999. But days before that, as expected, we got in trouble with our teachers. This time it was very serious.

Some background information is needed to tell the story. It was about a week before I was to leave for Philly and all aspects of my life went on as usual (school, friends, etc.). My father had packed up everything and we were getting ready to leave China...barring any unexpected events. Well...three days before I was to leave one of our friends found 100 yuan (Chinese currency) in school. For 8 year old kids this was like winning the lottery. This friend, who had a twin sister, was kind enough to give us 50 yuan to spend on tarps. The three amigos had a fiesta that day. Food, toys, BB guns, trading cards, etc, etc, etc. I went home that day with an arm full of toys but my father didn't mind and asked no questions (after all we were leaving in a few days and I won't have toys).

The next day that stupid twin sister shot her mouth off about how her sister found 100 yuan and wasted it all on tarps. Of course, a teacher's pet told on us and we were named as accomplices. Our teacher made us stand in front of class during homeroom and suspended a day of class to find out whose money it was and how we were to be punished. I was splashing water in the aisles when I was named (I was trying to look dutiful and innocent). This procedure took all morning, included the principal and countless other teachers. In the afternoon all our parents were called in to account for their children. It was raining that day, I remember clearly because my father came in all wet and was not happy about it. The teachers caught the parents up on what happened and they all deliberated on what was to happen. I can't remember exactly what my punishment was but my father and I just went home at the end of the day. That was my last day of school in China. I guess you can say I left with a bang.

We were so stupid. 100 yuan was a lot of money for people in my city and the teachers took it very seriously as they should have. Very few lived in luxury and certainly no one had 100 yuan to lose. But 100 yuan was a lot of money and we were blinded by greed. When I went back to visit a few years ago, the three amigos reunited to reminisce on the past. I realized that the last time we were all together in the same room 5 years ago was this event. It was an appropriate end to an awesome eight years. And a new adventure was in front of me: America.

The Three Amigos: Small Businesses

In my previous post I wrote about the school I attended back in China (which actually is still there and educating young minds) and about the fun things my friends and I used to do. If you haven't read the first post about my two best friends I encourage you to read it to get some background info. Click here.

The school was located on a smaller road that branched off the major road in my city, Taiyuan, Shanxi. There were a few shops on street corners that sold toys, food, and school supplies, and there were also tarp shops. Tarp shops are people who sell the same things in smaller quantities off tarps in the street. The merchant sits on the ground behind their tarps and sell things to students (I will refer to them as tarps). Our teachers would always warn us to stay away from them; not to buy anything. We always heeded their warnings...but we bought things anyway.

There was this beef jerky they used to sell that I was addicted to. I loved the spicy sauce, the tough beef and the saltiness, but I never had any money to buy it. So when my friends had some cash we would all share in the deliciousness. The tarps also sold BB guns, small toys, big toys, race cars, school uniforms, hats and handkerchiefs. In my school we had to wear a uniform, a yellow hat and a small red handkerchief we tied around our necks to signify that we were students (as if the uniform wasn't enough). Often times students would lose a hat or handkerchief which would result in big trouble with our teachers. The smart tarps would sell these things at ridiculously high prices, but we had no choice; either cough up the money or suffer the consequences. Once a parent and a tarp started arguing about returning the hat. The tarp would not admit to selling it and the parent would not relent from returning it. She ended up throwing the hat at the guy and sent her son to school. Soon a teacher was brought out, but the tarp still stuck to his guns. I don't know what happened, we had to go to class. I would have loved to see how that went down.

There was also a street vendor a block from the school who sold shiskabobs. We choose the vegetables, meat, or whatever else they had and cooked it on either salty or spicy pots of water. This was our after school snack and it was extremely cheap. We would buy at least 10 every time. Eventually, a bunch of our friends got food poisoning from it and our parents forbid it. We also heeded their command but we continued to eat it anyway.

One of the three amigos always had some money to buy stuff. He once bought a BB gun, cocked it on his belt and walked into school. I thought he was dead for sure but the teacher never caught him. The other amigo didn't really care, but he bought stuff every now and then. I never had any money to buy stuff. I was tired of bumming off my friends for food so I decided to take some money from my parents. They kept a stash of 10 cent currencies in the drawer so every morning I took a few of those while they were cooking so I can buy a few small toys. This went on about three days. One morning my mother sent me to school and before she left she saw me buy a toy from a tarp (I thought she left already). So naturally she asked where I got the money...uhhhhhh crap. I said that I was late to school and ran to class. Never have I ever been so relieved to hear the school bells ring and never thought I'd dread the end of school till that day. When I got home my mother and father had a serious face and talked to me about stealing. I thought I would surely be punished severely, but to my surprise they sat me down and talked to me politely, lovingly. I appreciated that. So I showed them all the toys I bought, half of which I had already lost, haha. I was so stupid.

Book Review: A Game of Thrones

A Game of Thrones by, George RR Martin.

I'm confident most of you have seen or heard of the HBO series "Game of Thrones." The show is engaging and gruesome, the perfect recipe for entertainment if you ask me, which is why I've picked up the book and finished it recently. I will start by saying that the show follows very closely with the movie, highlighting all the important parts and showing very acute detail for all the characters. I also benefited from watching the show first. Some might argue the opposite but watching the show gave me a face to every name. The casting for the show was spectacular. As I read descriptions of each character in the book, the corresponding actors' faces, clothing, personality all appeared in my thoughts. I was very excited to begin the book but soon realized it is 800+ pages. However, this did not hinder my progress.

The story takes place in a fantasy world probably during the Middle Ages or even before that, I'm not sure. Here, The Seven Kingdoms is ruled by King Robert Baratheon who overthrew the previous king, the Mad King. Robert's right hand man, Jon Arryn, died of sickness so he looks to his friend Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, to replace Jon. Stark soon finds out that Jon Arryn was poisoned and sets out to find out who killed him and why. All the while a mysterious threat broods in the North and the offspring of the Mad King is preparing to come back and reclaim the throne.

What I thought: The writing is very detailed with descriptions of characters and precise in keeping track of lineage of each name. It is at times explicit in presenting gruesome or sexual events. Sometimes a little too much detail is shared. But this is part of why I liked it so much, the unapologetic style of writing that is able to paint a picture in your mind as you read each word. When the author describes the mountains, the plains and the king's city my mind creates worlds based on the words, almost like Inception when DiCaprio created his own world with his wife. It's almost like I'm directing my own movie based on the book and creating landscapes as I see fit. A great book can free the mind. Overall the book is wonderfully written and the action is nonstop. I had a hard time putting down the book at chapter ends but loved the exhilaration of picking it back up and reading on.

I’ve gotten a lot of views from searches for ‘Christian reviews of Game of Thrones’ so: With respect to Christian themes being portrayed in the book, I believe it was present in some parts but to say that this book is purposely written for a religious audience is at best a stretch and at worst dead wrong. That being said, I believe there are Christian themes like the obvious unknown evil that broods beyond The Wall. To me The Wall is something that blocks people from things of the past: Evil things that used to be relevant but no longer are. They are easily blocked away; out of sight and out of mind. This could represent sin and humans’ desire to escape it. They build a wall to block it away but don’t realize that sin cannot be caged. This is evident through the unending feuds, war, hatred and rivalry displayed in King’s Landing and elsewhere. While the focus of the people turn to their own desires they are blinded of the sin that they have blocked away, but is rising yet again. This is the most I could get out of the book so far, and the comparison is a stretch. However, this is only book one. Perhaps as more of the story is unveiled we will see more clearly what George Martin is getting at.

The Three Amigos: Education

When I entered first grade my two best friends and I were in the same class. Needless to say we caused a lot of trouble but only when our teacher was not there. When she was present we tried to be angels but that was not always the case. In hindsight, she was a really good teacher, wanting the best for us, but we drove her crazy. I will describe my experiences but let's set the stage.

The school building was divided into two sections. The smaller, older building with three floors was filled with first, second and third graders. The bigger, newer building belonged to the fourth, fifth and sixth graders (In China elementary school is 6 years). We always looked at the bigger building as if it was something we could never touch until we earned it with time. The older kids never liked the little ones getting close to their side of the school. During playtime we would travel in packs and stayed away from their side. In the middle of the two buildings was the school bathroom. It was honestly a shit hole (no pun intended) and it smelled like one. What would be urinals here in the states was a long section about 10 feet wide and 2 feet deep walled off by bricks piled up to about half a foot and a few drains in the middle. There was no privacy which didn't really matter, we were stupid kids and nobody cared. But the place where we took shits was just a hole and we had to squat above it. No walls to separate you from the person next to you. There was no flushing system, everything just piled up. I remember one hole overflowed and there was a 2 liter Sprite bottle on top of it. I found it humorous.

Our class room held 60 students, two to a desk placed in four or five rows. Before every morning's homeroom started the teacher picked three or four students to take a big bowl of water and splash water in the aisles to settle the dust. It only made things muddy and slippery. So every morning we would wait for who was going to fall on their ass. Almost every day some one fell victim and the class would laugh hysterically. I loved school back then. All my friends were there and and we had so much fun. Maybe too much fun. Our teacher was constantly pissed, haha.

Now that we have the stage set, I can get into the stupid things we did.

One of the three amigos decided to whisper during class one day. Our teacher, like a cat, caught the sound and the source it came from. She called him out to stand in front of the class and left him there for the rest of the class. After about 10 minutes he started rubbing his legs and after 20 he just took a seat on the ground. The class started giggling because our teacher didn't notice and continued with the lesson. When she turned around he was up again. Brilliant. He started to moan and bent at the knees to give them a rest. She did not budge. Eventually, the moaning got annoying but when she turned around he had this awful look on his face. She felt so bad, she helped him back to his seat and when she turned back he gave a little wry smile. Victory.

One day, in science class I felt really sick. In China it was frowned upon to skip class, but if you were sick you needed one of your friends to deliver a note. That morning I felt like crap but I figured I'd rather brave through the day. Big mistake. It was probably a few hours before noon when I felt really bad so I put my head on my forearms and soon after I threw up all over!! It spread a radius of about three feet around me and people were just in shock. What was worse: it got all over my uniform and my shoes. The teacher threw me out of class and told me, with disgust, to hose myself down. Outside in the yard there was a big sink, I got in and took a bath with my cloths on, came back soaking wet and she was even more pissed. HAHA.

The last member of the three amigos did something worse: he wrote a love letter to a girl. This action was deemed very inappropriate so our teacher got the principal involved and called in the boys parents. His grandfather came instead not knowing what the fuss was all about. In China, boys are not supposed to be flirting with girls or even thinking about girls, but boys are boys what can you do? Our teacher was very worried and took this issue very seriously. She suspended a day of class just so she can scold him in front of all of us and escorted him to the dreaded teachers' office to "think" about what he had done. While this was happening rumors spread like wild fire in the class room about who likes who. We all had a grand time with this whole situation, but the teacher found out and scolded us for about an hour. When the perpetrator's grandfather came in the teacher had a private conference with him about his grandson's behavior. We were not present at this meeting but rumor has it that the old man flat out laughed for about 10 minutes straight when he heard the news and even congratulated his grandson on a job well done, much to the displeasure of our teacher.

School was awesome in China. We had so much fun but we also learned faster than kids in the states. I knew the multiplication table after first grade but when I entered third grade in Philly they just started learning it. The states need to pick it up. I really appreciated going to school back then, probably for the wrong reasons but it got me through two crazy years. Just remembering those times makes me appreciate the toilet I have in my bathroom, haha. I really appreciate the toilet.  

The Three Amigos: Pranksters

This is another story of the three amigos. As I mentioned in the previous post, when I was in first grade my parents allowed me to walk to school with my two best friends (when I lived in China). It was a good 2 miles away if I remember correctly and on the way, there was so much to do...

One thing we did almost every day was deflate the tires of bicycles. In China, the main source of transportation for most middle class citizens was bikes. There were bike racks everywhere and people would ride to work, lock it up and go to work. My dad had a bike and even built a baby seat in the back so I could ride with him when I was young. So on our way to school we would sneak up to these bikes, unscrew the caps on the tire nozzles, wait till the tire was totally deflated and threw away the cap. Thinking back, we were really bad kids. We probably ruined a lot of people's days but I can't help but laugh at myself. We were so good at it we never got caught and numerous commuters walked home with a flat tire not knowing who did it.

But this was not enough. We needed more excitement and stimulation so we started spitting on car windows that were parked on the sidewalks. Even though this is disgusting and terrible we felt justified in doing it. Anyone who owned a car in China walked around like their shit doesn't stink; with their heads held up high as if they was better than everyone else. And they parked on the sidewalks where people walked. So we spit on the windshields and the mirrors of fancy Audis and Hondas, and ran away as fast as we can. This quickly became boring. Unimpressed with ourselves we moved on to bigger things.

So we began messing with drivers at red lights. One time we found a jug of water laying in the trash pile and we used it to cause some trouble. At a red light we took the jug and placed it in front of a taxi driver's front wheel. We tried to be sneaky but the driver saw us, came out and screamed at the top of his lungs. He called us stupid kids and some other unpleasant things. We knew he couldn't come after us because his car is stopped at a traffic light so we hung around at a comfortable distance taunting him. The dude was so red he had not idea what to do, but the light turned green so he got back in and drove off. We cheered at the victory and mocked the driver on our way back home.

As Charlie Sheen would put it: Winning. But thinking back, we were terribly stupid kids who knew no bounds. I would hate to unlock my bike to ride to school only to find that my tire is flat because some stupid kids thought it was funny (it was HILARIOUS at the time). So the question that remains: do I regret doing those things? The answer is an emphatic NO. If I had the chance I would still do it today but the consequences are more severe for a 20 year old. I'm still a kid at heart-growing up sucks.

The Three Amigos: Big Trouble

When I was young and still living in China I had two friends: Wang Nan and Wang Jin Tao (no relation-kinda like Smith in China). We were best friends and everyone knew us as a trio and if we were in America we would be called the three amigos, so that is what I'm gonna call us. When we were in first grade we were allowed to walk to school by ourselves after the route to school was familiar to us. Our parents allowed it and we felt pretty good about it because it gave us freedom. For first graders freedom equals trouble.

One day walking home, the three amigos decided to take a trip through a construction site and play follow the leader. The construction guys didn't care and let us play to our hearts content. They were digging a really deep foundation; it must have been only 20-30 feet deep but to us it looked like the grand canyon. There were two parallel steel pipes that ran straight across the big hole smack in the middle. They were connected to each other so it gave us plenty of room to walk across. We had a great adventure crossing the bridge to a far off land where we climbed mountains made of small rocks, dug trenches from huge piles of dirt, built fortresses with large stones and defeated imaginary enemies while we fought valiantly as brothers in arms. The time was lost.

By the time we got home it was 8PM and my dad was pissed. He didn't even speak to me for the rest of the day (however short it was). One of my friends' parents went out looking for us and had some of her friends looking around too. I don't remember being yelled at for it or punished, but I do remember walking home in the dark thinking what is my father gonna do?? And that sick feeling I got in the stomach made me want to throw up.

I don't regret one second I spent playing with my friends. That is gonna be a happy memory I will have for the rest of my life. I don't regret one second of it.